Day 12, Operation Looking GOOD feeling GOOD

(Edited Sunday Morning)

Points:

Sante on toast (1.5)
digestive biscuit (1.5)
12 pistacho nuts (1.5)
food at espe (chickpeas and cabbage, because of oil and small piece of bread)(7)
tini pack of cheese biscuits (3)
bread with cheese (4)

pear (0)

mandarine (0)

pistachos nuts (1.5)

20 points from 20 points allowed

Have not taken my vitamin tablet

Have not done any exercise

I think that to lose half a kilo is very good, you cant say you havent eaten pleanty of different things, toast and bread, beans, bran bars, I go hungry as well, but you must admit that we eat pleanty. If you feel it is not suiting you, you can swith to calories, but you have to continue and get to the end of the diet.

I am quite sure that my weight loss will slow down from now on. That is the reason it is important that I do some exercise as well. It is not easy, more than often I have wanted to comfort myself with some food. But I won't. And if the day comes that I will, I will go straight back on the diet.

I dont think people have more will power than others. I think that will power comes from motivation and practice. I want the end result more than I want the quick pleasure of eating something nice in a difficult moment.  I keep imagine the nice spring days, when it gets warm, near the summer, and I go and come from work. The sort of days that make you want to walk outside and wear less clothing, and then I want to be a lot thinner. I picture how I will look and feel. I know that if I dont keep to this diet I will have failed myself. I know that I need to show myself I can control things and have the willpower to do so. I really wish that my other problem would be so "easy" to solve. But it is not, and will take longer, however I do it, to get the anxiety out of my system. Being thin will help that, and knowing that I have done it. Self confidence in one's abilities is very important.

My skin looks very much better. I am sure it is due to the following things:

I have cleaned my skin every single night (I have not done that, with that consistency for maybe years)

I have facial massages

I eat better things

I have been taking vitamins with more consistency than ever in the past

I told E. and she said that she could really notice it. I know your opinion is not great of her, but as she heard me talking of the massages and she was saying how much better I was looking, she had a fit of happiness and came and gave me two effussive kisses, saying that she was so glad that I was getting better, that it would make her really happy if I could get properly well. I felt a bit embarrased, as I always do from any signs of affection, but I do know her feeling was sincere and was glad of it.  She said that the face is the mirror of how we feel, so I suppose know that my skin is improving it is showing a healthier me. I find myself looking a lot in the mirror, because I look so different, and I find it hard to believe that the smooth skin really belongs to my complexion. 

There is no point in sitting and wishing things are different. Hard work done by only myself can make the world I want to live in. It is hard, even painful sometimes, like when you try to touch your toes and stay like that, but nothing that is worth it is easy, and my life has been on hold for too long.